BONHEUR YvesMu mibano y’urukundo, kenshi abantu baranzwe no kwirinda igice kidasobanutse cyo hagati yo kwiyemeza gukundana nyabyo n’umuntu cyangwa kwibera inshuti zisanzwe. Abakundana bakiri bato bari guhitamo icyo gice.
Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko imyifatire y’abo mu kigero cy’imyaka kizwi nka Gen Z (Generation Z – abavutse hagati ya 1997 – 2012) mu gukundana n’imibonano mpuzabitsina itandukanye cyane n’iy’abo mu myaka ya mbere yabo.
Bo bafata iby’urukundo n’imibonano mu buryo bujyanye n’uko ibintu byifashe, kandi ntabwo bashyira imbere kubaka urukundo rukomeye nk’uko bakuru babo babigenza.Ibyo ariko ntabwo bisobanuye ko batagira ubushake bwo kuba mu rukundo nyarwo, ahubwo barimo baravumbura ubundi buryo bwo guhaza ibyo bifuza n’ibyo bakeneye bihuye neza n’imibereho yabo.
Izi mpinduka zazamuye igitekerezo gishya bita ‘Situationship’ – ijambo ryacuzwe mu gusobanura igice kiri hagati y’ubucuti (friendship) n’umubano w’urukundo (relationship).
‘Situationship’ isobanura icyiciro kigoye gusobanura cy’umubano wa babiri inzobere zivuga ko ubu cyazamutse cyane muba Gen Z.Elizabeth Armstrong, umwalimu mu by’imibanire muri University of Michigan muri Amerika wakoze ubushakashatsi bwibanze ku mibonano mpuzabitsina na ‘situationships’, afite icyo abivugaho.
Agira ati: “Ubu, ibi bikemura mu buryo runaka ikibazo cy’ubushake bw’imibonano, no kugira uwo muri kumwe – ariko bitari ngombwa ko ari umubano ukomeye ufite icyerekezo.”Abantu bakomeje kugira amatsiko menshi kuri ubu bwoko ‘bushya’ bw’umubano: ririya jambo ryageze ku gipimo cyo hejuru mu gushakishwa cyane kuri Google mu 2022, nyuma y’uko ritangiye kuboneka mu 2020.
Elizabeth avuga ko ku isi hose, mu moko atandukanye, mu bitsina n’amahitamo njyabitsina atandukanye abantu bagize ubushake bwo kumenya ‘situationships’ icyo ari cyo.Guhimba – no gukomeza kumenyakana – kw’iri jambo, cyane cyane mu bakundana bakiri bato, byerekana byinshi ku buryo aba Gen Z bariho baha igisobanuro gishya urukundo n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, mu buryo butandukanye n’ubw’ibindi byiciro by’imyaka bya mbere yabo.
‘Situationship’ irwanya “igitekerezo ko kuba uri kumwe n’umuntu ariko ntaho mugana ari ‘ugutakaza igihe’.” – Elizabeth Armstrong
‘Situationship’ ni umubano w’abantu babiri ufite ibiwugize birimo amahuriro y’imbamutima n’umubiri, ariko nanone bidasa n’umubano umenyerewe wo kwiyemeza nyabyo gukundana n’umuntu, ibizwi cyane nka ‘relationship’.
‘Situationships’ zimwe na zimwe ziba zumvikanyweho ku gihe zimara n’igitekerezo ko ari igitekerezo umubano usanzwe ujyanye gusa n’uko ibintu byifashe muri icyo gihe.Ibyo bishobora kuba urugero nko ku banyeshuri babiri barimo kurangiza kaminuza, bashobora kuba batifuza gukomeza ibintu mu mubano ukomeye, kuko imirimo n’ubuzima bushya baba bitegura kujyamo bishobora gutuma batura ahatandukanye nyuma y’amashuri.
Elizabeth Armstrong avuga ko ‘situationships’ zigezweho kuko zinyuranyije n’ingingo y’uko gukundana tumenyereye bigomba kuba bifite umujyo udahinduka n’intego zimwe zizwi, nko kubana, gutangaza ko mukundana, no gushyingirwa.Elizabeth avuga ko ingingo ya ‘situationship’ irwanya “igitekerezo ko kuba uri kumwe n’umuntu ariko ntaho mugana ari ‘ugukaza igihe’” – Ingingo avuga ko aba Gen Z barimo kwiyumvamo cyane.
Ahubwo, abantu bari muri uwo mubano mushya ku bushake bahitamo kubana muri ubwo buryo buri hagati y’imibano isanzwe, ubucuti busanzwe no gukundana byeruye.Kubwa Elizabeth, aba Gen Z bemera ko “situationship, ku mpamvu runaka, ifasha muri ako kanya. Kandi muri ako kanya, singira impungenge ko hari ‘ikintu ntakaza’.”
Ubushakashatsi bumwe bwemeranya n’ibi. Muri ‘interviews’ n’abanyeshuri 150 ba kaminuza mu mwaka w’amashuri wa 2020 na 2021, Lisa Wade umwalimu w’iby’imibanire muri Tulane University muri Amerika, yabonye ko aba Gen Z basa n’abatihuta gusobanura neza gukundana, cyangwa se no kwemera ko gukundana birenga urwego runaka.
Lisa avuga ko ubushakashatsi bwe bwerekana ko “kwifuza gufata agafoto ka k’umukunzi wawe mu gituza atari umwihariko w’abo mu myaka ya mbere gusa”, ariko ko aba Gen Z umwihariko wabo ari ko badashaka kuvuga cyangwa kwerekana ibyiyumvo byabo nyabyo imbere y’undi.
Ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, aba Gen Z bakoresha cyane cyane Twitter na TikTok batangaza kenshi inkuru za situationship. Kuri TikTok, video zahawe tag ya #situationship zarebwe inshuro zirenga miliyoni 839, kimwe n’iza #situationships nazo zarebwe inshuro za miliyoni.
Byageze no mu muziki mu bihugu nk’Ubwongereza aho umuhanzi wo mu kiciro cy’imyaka y’aba Millennials (bavutse hagati ya 1981 – 1996) witwa Snoh Aalegra yaririmbye indirimbo yise situationship.
“Turaseka, njye n’inshuti zanjye, kuko twese ubwo nibwo buzima tubamo”, ni ibivugwa na Amanda Huhman w’imyaka 26 iyo we n’inshuti ze barebye inyandiko ivuga kuri ‘situationship’.
Amanda w’i Texas muri Amerika avuga ko ubu buryo bw’urukundo abona bweze cyane mu rungano rwe.
Ati: “Ntekereza ko birimo kuba umuco ugezweho wo gukundana, nibura mu ba Gen Z n’aba Millenials b’imyaka micye”.
Amanda avuga ko yamaze umwaka mu rukundo asobanura nka ‘situationship’.
Ubwo yatangazaga kuri TikTok uko byari bimeze, video ye yarebwe inshuro miliyoni umunani ijyaho ‘comments’ ibihumbi – benshi muri bo bemeza ko nabo bari muri ‘situationships’.
Amanda ukora mu rwego rw’ubuzima, kenshi akora ingendo mu mijyi itandukanye aho ashobora kumara amezi runaka akorera. Kuba muri ubu buryo bw’urukundo, kubwe, bisobanuye ko agira ubwisanzure n’ubwigenge.
Ati: “Umuco wacu wo gukundana uyu munsi ni akaga, kandi ntusobanutse. [Aba Gen Z] ni uku babaho…ubuzima buhuze, kandi ntekereza ko dusa n’abemeye ubu buryo bwo gukundana bujyanye n’uko tubayeho.”
Gushyira imbere inzira yawe
Mu gihe aba Gen Z binjira mu byo gukundana, kubona urukundo bifite ibibazo by’igihe cya none. Urugero, icyorezo cyahinduye burundu uko abantu bahuraga n’abakunzi babo, ubu hagezweho cyane gukundana ‘Online’.
Hejuru y’ibyo, abakiri bato benshi ntabwo bashishikazwa na busa no gukundana byimbitse nk’uko byahoze mu gihe gishize, kubera ingaruka z’ibibazo by’ubukungu bwifashe nabi, ibibazo bya politike n’imibereho.
Abakiri bato ubu kenshi bashyira imbaraga mu buhirimbanyi (advocacy) bashakisha inyungu bwite, inyungu z’akazi cyangwa z’umwuga mbere y’ibindi.
Lisa Wade ati: “Abakiri bato bavuga ko ibyo gukundana bibarangaza mu nzira igana ku ntego zabo z’amashuri cyangwa akazi, ko ibyiza ari ukutabyinjiramo cyane, kuko ushobora kuhatakariza inzira y’ubuzima bwawe kubera undi muntu.”
Nk’ingaruka, situationship ihinduka amahitamo y’aba Gen Z benshi bashaka kumva ku buryohe bw’urukundo n’imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko nta kwiyemeza kubirimo gushobora gusiga inyuma ibindi bagamije kugeraho.
Elizabeth Armstrong avuga ko ibi “byagura amahitamo menshi abantu bashobora kugira”, kandi ko ubwo buryo bwo hagati y’urukundo rumenyerewe n’ubucuti busanzwe bugenda burushaho kuba ibisanzwe.
Gusa birumvikana ko ubu buryo bw’umubano nabwo butabuze ingaruka mbi buzana nabwo.
Lisa avuga ko ‘situationships’ mu mvugo yumvikana nk’igihe abantu babiri bumvikanye kubyo bashaka mu by’ukuri n’uko bazabibanamo.
Ariko ko mu ngiro bishobora kugorana kumvikana ikiza imbere maze iyo ‘situationship’ ikarangira nabi igihe bombi batari ku murongo umwe w’ikintu runaka cyangwa icyo bashaka kuko n’ikibahuje kuba kidafite urufatiro rukomeye.
Avuga ko, kenshi ibi bibaho iyo umuntu umwe yiteguye gutera intambwe igana kuri ‘relationship’ ikomeye, ariko ubwoba bw’impinduka no kutumvikana bugatuma bombi batanashobora kubiganiraho.
Gusa nanone, mu isi yo gukundana ya none, kwiyongera kw’abajya muri ‘situationships’ kurerekana uko abakiri bato bashobora guhindura igisobanuro cy’urukundo n’imibonano mpuzabitsina kuva ubu n’igihe kizaza – kubera kwakira icyo bumva kibahagije kiri hagati, icyo abakundana bo mu myaka ya mbere yabo bo bakomeje kwirinda.
Kuri Amanda avuga ko we ashimishijwe no kuba muri icyo cyo hagati. Ati: “Ni amahitamo yanjye, ni icyemezo kishimisha kandi kikamfasha. Igihe cyose abantu bibashimishije kandi bakumva ari byo bikwiye kuri bo, wigira impungenge z’ibyabo.”
