Tuesday, April 16
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Uburyo bwagufasha kubaza umuntu uko amerewe akakubwiza ukuri

Ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwerekanye ko kimwe mu bifasha abantu kubaho bishimye, harimo kugira inshuti nyanshuti.

Kugira ngo ibyo bishoboke nabyo, bisaba kuganira, ukagira uburyo butuma ya nshuti cyangwa umuntu muganira agufungukira, igihe umutima we uremerewe ukamufasha kubohoka.

Kenshi uburyo ubaza umuntu uko amerewe, biganisha ku gisubizo aguha, niba kiba kivuye ku mutima cyangwa niba gitangwa mu buryo bwo kwikiza.

Kimwe mu bibazo bikunze kubazwa cyane ni “amakuru?”, nyamara abashakashatsi bagaragaje ko iki kibazo kitatuma ubona igisubizo cy’ukuri, kuko benshi bihutira gusubiza ko ari meza.

Umushakashatsi Stephanie Harrison yakusanyije ibibazo umunani ushobora kubaza umuntu, akaguha igisubizo kimuturutse ku mutima.

1. Umerewe ute mu by’ukuri?

Abahanga bagaragaza ko kugira akantu gato wongera ku kibazo, gashobora kugira uruhare mu guhindura ikiganiro ugirana n’umuntu ukeneye kumenya amakuru ye.

Urugero ni ijambo “mu by’ukuri”, ryumvisha uwo ubajije ko wifuza ko ikiganiro cyanyu kigera kure byisumbuye.

2. Umerewe ute muri aka kanya?

Ubu na bwo ni ubundi buryo bugaragazwa nk’ubwagufasha guhindura imiterere y’ibibazo ubaza, bukifashishwa cyane mu gihe ubaza umuntu uzi ko amaze iminsi ari mu ruhererekane rw’ibibazo birimo nko kubura abo yakundaga, umuntu umaze iminsi arwaye, ari mu bushomeri cyangwa se uherutse gutandukana n’umukunzi we.

3.Umaze iminsi utekereza ku biki?

Bivugwa ko abantu boroherwa no gusangiza abandi ibitekerezo byabo, aho kubasangiza ibyerekeranye n’amarangamutima yabo.

Nubwo bimeze bityo ariko, iyo umuntu yemeye kugusangiza bimwe mu byo atekereza, bishobora no kukorohereza kumenya uko amarangamutima ye ahagaze.

Mu gihe kandi wifuza ko ikiganiro ugirana n’umuntu cyagera kure, ugirwa inama ko nko mu gihe akomoje ku kintu runaka, ushobora gusa n’umuca mu ijambo ukavuga uti “ibyo birumvikanisha ko ari ikibazo gikomeye”, cyangwa yagera ahantu ugahita wungamo mu kumubaza ugira uti “ibyo byatumye wiyumva gute?”

Ushobora kugerageza guhindura imiterere y’igice cya kabiri cy’ikibazo, ukabaza no ku bindi bintu wifuza kwimaraho amatsiko.

Wenda ukabaza uti “umbwije ukuri, uyu mushinga umaze iminsi uhagaze ute?”, cyangwa wenda ukabwira uwo mwashakanye cyangwa umukunzi uti “umbwije ukuri, ni iki wumva ko nahindura mu mubano wacu?”

5. Ni iki kimeze neza, ni iki kikugoye?

Ubundi iyo ubajije umuntu uti “amakuru”? bikuviramo guhita uhabwa igisubizo kigufi cya “ni meza” maze bikarangirira aho.

Nyamara mu buzima hari ubwo umuntu aba afite mu mutwe ibintu byinshi icyarimwe, cyangwa se arimo kureba ibintu mu buryo butandukanye, bimwe abona ari byiza, ibindi bimuremereye, kandi byose bikabera icyarimwe.

6.Ni irihe jambo wakoresha usobanura ubuzima bwawe muri aka kanya?

Kubaza muri ubu uburyo, ni indi nzira ifasha ubajijwe gusobanukirwa neza ibyo ari gucamo, bigatuma abona uko yabisangiza undi.

Aha ubaza agirwa inama yo kuba yaboneraho akagobekamo ikindi kibazo agira ati “ni iyihe mpamvu iguteye guhitamo iri jambo?” Cyangwa se ukaba wamubaza uti “hari ikindi wumva wasanisha n’iri jambo?”

7. Ubushize tuganira wari ufite ikibazo iki n’iki [ukakivuga], ubu bihagaze bite?

Icyiza cyo kubaza muri ubu buryo, ni uko bituma uwo muntu abona ko umwitayeho kandi uzirikana ubuzima bwe, bityo akaba yagusubiza abohotse ntacyo agukinga.

8. Ni ikihe kibazo wumva umuntu yakubaza muri aka kanya?

Birashoboka ko uwo muganira hari ikintu aba yumva mwakavuzeho ariko bikamugora ku buryo iyo umubajije iki kibazo bimufungurira amarembo, akaba yakomoza ku ngingo mutari mwabashije kuganiraho.

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