Monday, March 4
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Kurangiza vuba ntabwo ari uburwayi nta bwo ukwiriye gufata imiti yabyo ! Menya icyo wakora nonaha ugahita uba uko wifuza

Benshi batekereza ko kurangiza vuba ari uburwayi cyangwa ko ari ingaruko zo kwikinisha kuri bo gusa zimwe mu nzobere bemeza ko ntaho bihuriye .Hari inkuru twagiye twandika tukabafasha kumenya ibiribwa wakwifashisha cyangwa imiti wakoresha ndetse tukabaha n’izindi nama ariko iyo bigeze ku kibazo cyo kwikinisha no kurangiza vuba benshi mu bagabo bafata amafaranga yabo bakayatanga ku bantu ngo babavure ariko bikaba akawa mugani ngo “Iby’abapfu biribwa n’abapfumu”.

Umwe yandikiye Emma Claudine ati:” Muga njye iyo ndi mu gikorwa ndangiza vuba cyane, niba hari umuti mwampa nkasubira uko narimeze mbere mwaba mukoze”. Kwikinisha ntabwo ari uburwayi nta nicyo bitera ahubwo ikibazo kiba kuzinukwa imibonano mpuzabitsina ukihebera kwikinisha gusa kandi nabyo ni imitekerereze [ Bibera mu mutwe ] ‘Psychologically’.Kurangiza vuba ni ibintu bisanzwe by’umwihariko ku bagabo bashatse vuba batari bamarana igihe n’umabagore babo.

Iyo umugabo aribwo ashakanye n’umugore we, umubiri utaramenyera imibonano mpuzabitsina no kuba yamenya kwifunga yirinda kurangiza vuba, ashobora kumara igihe gito cyane , none yaba yarigeze yikinisha agahita abihuza , bigahita byangiza ubwonko bwe bityo akaba aciye ukubiri no kurangiza atinze kubera gutekereza ko yigeze kwikinisha gusa.Abahanga bavuga ko mu bibazo biterwa no kwikinisha hatarimo kurangiza vuba nk’uko nanone byemezwa na Emma Claudine.

Uyu mugore yagize ati:” Aho kuba kwinisha byaba ikibazo ahubwo hakajemo ibibazo byo mu mutwe gusa aho umugabo ashobora kuvuga ngo , kwikinisha nibyo numva nsigaye mpitamo kurenza imibonano mpuzabitsina.Ibi mbivuze gutyo kuko umuntu wese uziko arangiza vuba ariko akaba yarigeze kwikinisha buri gihe arabihuza , agahita avuga ngo ndangiza vuba kubera ko nikinishije.Kurangiza vuba ntabwo ari ikibazo kizanwa no kwikinisha ahubwo umugabo cyangwa umusore ugitangira kwiga gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ubundi abenshi baba barangiza vuba kubera ko ubwonko bwabo buba butaramenyera bwa bushagarira buzamurwa n’igihe cyo kurangiza, ibyo rero bituma yumva bimunaniye kwiyobora akarangiza vuba.

“Iyo umuntu atari yagira umugore kurangiza vuba aba ari ibisanzwe niyo afite umugore ariko bamaranye igihe gitoya ataramara kumenya gufata neza ibyo akora birashoboka ko yarangiza vuba kurenza umuntu udafite umugore ariko akaba akunda kubikora cyane yaramaze kubimenyera [ Abimazemo igihe ] yarahindutse nk’umugabo ufite umugore gusa nanone bikaba ikibazo iyo utabikora n’umuntu umwe kuko kukugira inama bigoye”.

Ubusanzwe gufata imiti ugatanga amafaranga sibyiza kuko biba akawa mugani ngo Iby’abapfu biribwa n’abapfumu.Ntabwo umuntu yakuvura kurangiza vuba kandi kurangiza vuba atari indwara ikindi kandi icyatuma kurangiza vuba bishira ntabwo urabigeraho ntabwo urabibona.Kuba ufite umugore mubana , ukagenda umumenyera nawe wimenyera , nawe akumenyera ubundi uwo niwo muti wa Mbere wo kurangiza vuba, ni uko wowe wimenyera , umugore wawe akakumenyera, mukamenyerana mwembi hanyuma mukamenya ngo mukora iki , ni iki gituma urangiza vuba? Ni iki mureka gukora kare , mukagikora igihe cyo kurangiza kigeza ? Ni iki umugore agufasha ni iki nawe wifasha , Ese kwiyobora urabizi , Ese nawe arakuyobora ? . Ubundi uwo niwo muti nyakuri nyakuri.

Hari abajya kubavuzi n’ubundi bakabaha umuti ubafasha kumenyera bya byiyumviro byawe , umenyere ubushagarira bwo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina , ubwonko bwawe bumenyere. Ntabwo ushobora gukira kurangiza vuba kandi nta mugore ugira , keretse wirirwa uryamana n’umuntu umwe waramugize umugore cq benshi ariko warabigize umwuga cyangwa unywa ibisindisha byongera imbaraga kandi nabyo ntabwo biramba kuko bishira mu mubiri ukaba wowe wanyawe. Gusa inama ni uko uba ufite umugore umwe, udahindura abagore.

Umugore wawe akwiye kugufasha mu gihe ugiye kurangiza akaba yagufata akagukomeza, ugatuza hanyuma mugakomeza , musa n’abatangiye bundi bushya

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