umunsi .comUbuzima wabanyemo n’umukunzi wawe cyangwa abakunzi bawe bashize ni ubuzima bwawe bwite ariko Hari ubwo iyo ufite undi mukundana mushya biba ngombwa ko mu biganiro mugirana nabyo bizamo kuko ngo bikunda kwibazwaho cyane mu gihe muri kuganira.Ikibazo ukwiye kwibaza ese ni ngombwa ko mubiganiraho?
Ni ngombwa ko umubwira byose se!?
Ubuzima wabanyemo n’umukunzi wawe cyangwa abakunzi bawe bashize cyane ibyerekeye gutera akabariro ni byo bintu usanga wowe n’umukunzi wawe mushya muri kuganiraho ndetse inzobere zivuga ko ari byiza.
Gusa ngo nubwo ari byiza, burya bigira ingaruka mbi nazo ukwiye kumenya arinayo mpamvu ukwiye gucunga neza ibyo uganiza umukunzi wawe bitewe nuko umuzi umubona, ibyo akunda uba ubizi ndetse nibyo yanga urabizi, ni ngombwa rero ko ucunga neza ibyo uri kumuganiza muri icyo kiganiro.
Ikibazo kigaruka cyane muri ibyo biganiro ni “waryamanye n’abakobwa bangahe” rimwe narimwe hari ubwo ubazwa ngo “ni bande?”, Icyakora inzobere zivuga ko kumenya umubare w’abantu umukunzi wawe yaryamanye nabo ngo ntakintu kiza bishobora kukugezaho cyane ko ngo n’ubundi ibyo ntacyo byakwigisha cyangwa ngo bigire icyo bigufasha mu rukundo rwanyu.
Ahubwo inzobere zivuga ko ibibazo nyabyo ukwiye kubaza umukunzi wawe mu byerekeye n’ubuzima bwe n’abakobwa bakundana cyangwa abahungu bakundanye cyane ibyerekeye gutera akabariro.
Dore ibyo ukwiye kubaza bishobora kubafasha mu rukundo rwanyu;
1.Ese ukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bwa mbere ni iki cyagukururiye kubikora!?
2.Ese warabikunze!?
3.Ese ni iki wakunzemo!?
4.Ese ni iki cyagukuruye ku mukunzi wawe wa mbere!?
5.Ese mujya gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina byatangiye cg byaje Ute!?
6.Ese byagize ngaruka ki mu buzima bwawe!?
Menya ko rero mu gihe muri kugirana ibyo biganiro ukwiye kwirinda kugira ibyo uvuga nabi nko gushimagiza cyane umukunzi wawe wahashize kuko bishobora gutuma urukundo rwanyu rutaramba, zimwe mu ngaruka zishobora kukugeraho cyangwa ingaruka zo kutitindera ibyo uvuga harimo gucirwa urubanza.
Urugero mu gihe muri kuganira maze ukavuga ko wakoze imibonano mpuzabitsina inshuro nyinshi bishobora gutuma umukunzi wawe atangira kugucira urubanza avuga ko uri ikirara ukunda gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane.
Ishyari: Uko uvuga umukunzi wawe wa cyera neza nabyo bishobora gutuma umukunzi wawe mushya uwo uri kubibwira agira ishyari cyane.Kumva adahagije
Mu gihe muri kuganira Kandi ni ngombwa ko ucunga neza ibyo uri kuvuga kuko Hari ubwo ushobora kuvuga ibintu ugatuma umukunzi wawe yumva ataguhagije, urugero kubwira umukunzi wawe ko Umusore mwakundanaga yari ashoboye gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane Kandi nabyo bituma umukunzi wawe yumva adahagije.
Source: psychology today
