umunsi .comIhungabana ni ikibazo gihangayikisha uwo ryabayeho kimwe n’abamuzengurutse. Rikaba rifata umuntu nyuma yo guhura n’ibintu bibi cyane ku buryo birenga ubwenge bwe kubyakira no kubyihanganira. Akenshi rikunze gufata umuntu nyuma y’akarengane gakabije, gutotezwa, gukorerwa iyicarubozo, gufatwa ku ngufu, kwicirwa umuryango, kurokoka impanuka idasanzwe, n’ibindi.
Uburyo abantu bahangana n’ihungabana buratandukanye, kuko no mu buzima busanzwe uko twakira ibitubayeho biranyuranye. Gusa nanone ni ikibazo gikosorwa kigashira nubwo kuri bamwe cyongera kikagaruka cyane cyane iyo bagize umwanya wo kwibuka ibyababayeho.Muri iyi nkuru tugiye kurebera hamwe bimwe mu bimenyetso biranga uwafashwe cyangwa ugiye gufatwa n’ihungabana n’uburyo bunyuranye bwamufasha guhangana na ryo akongera gutuza.
Hari ibimenyetso bitandukanye by’ihungabana; bimwe biba ku bantu ako kanya ikibazo kikimara kuba ibindi bikaza nyuma ya bya bihe bibi ndetse na nyuma y’imyaka bibaye.Nubwo bitaba bimwe ku bantu bose, ariko muri rusange ibimenyetso ni ibi bikurikira:
Kwiheba no kwigunga, agahinda n’umujinya bidasanzwe kandi biza vuba ,Kunanirwa gusinzira no kugira icyo ukora ,Gukomeza gutekereza ku byabaye bigatuma usa n’uri kubibona biba ako kanya. Aha benshi bamera nk’abari mu nzozi, ndetse agakora ibimenyetso byerekana ko hari ikintu kiri kumubaho. Niba wenda ari nk’impanuka yabaye ugasanga ari kwipfuka mu mutwe nk’aho hari ikigiye kumugwaho, niba yarafashwe ku ngufu ugasanga ari gusaza imigeri nk’uri kwiyama umuntu gutyo gutyo
Gusa ku bantu benshi ibi ntibimara igihe kinini. Nyamara nanone ku bandi usanga bitinda ndetse bamwe bagatangira kwiyahuza inzoga n’ibindi biyobyabwenge bibwira ko ahari ari bwo bari butuze, nyamara iyo bibashizemo barongera bagasubira uko bari bameze batarabinywa nuko aho gucyemura ikibazo ahubwo kikiyongera.Icyakora nanone nubwo bamwe bagaragaza ibimenyetso byoroshye ndetse ugasanga kubaba hafi no kubaganiriza bibafasha kubisohokamo vuba, hari abandi usanga byafashe indi ntera bagakenera kwitabwaho birenze.
Bimwe mu bimenyetso bagaragaza ni ibi:
Kugaragaza guhangayika, kubabara no kugira agahinda kenshi
Kurira cyane kandi kenshi
Kugaragara nk’umuntu uri kure
Kuboneka ko afite ubwoba bwinshi cyane
Kurakara vuba akanarakazwa n’ubusa
Kurota inzozi mbi no kudasinzira neza
Kutegera aho abandi bari ukabona ashaka kuba wenyine
Uretse ibi kandi hari n’ibindi bimenyetso bimeze nk’iby’indwara zisanzwe:
• Kuribwa umutwe
• Kuribwa mu nda, kwituma impatwe cyangwa impiswi
• Umunaniro udasanzwe
• Kubira ibyuya no guteragura k’umutima
Umuntu ugaragaza ibi bimenyetso aba yagezweho n’ihungabana kandi aba akeneye kwitabwaho.
Aha twibutse ko ihungabana ritagera gusa ku wahuye n’ibyateye iryo hungabana ahubwo rishobora no kugera ku wabibwiwe nk’inkuru nuko yagerageza kwishyira muri iyo si byaberagamo nawe akagerwaho n’ihungabana. Umwana umenye ko nyina yafashwe ku ngufu, cyangwa se ko umubyeyi we yishwe atemaguwe, ashobora guhungabana nubwo byaba byarabaye adahari.
Uko wahangana n’ihungabana
Hari uburyo bunyuranye bushobora kwifashishwa mu gufasha uwahuye n’ihungabana ndetse nawe ubwe ashobora kubukoresha akaba yakibonera igisubizo atiriwe yitabaza abandi.
Mu gihe wahuye n’ihungabana utakaza icyizere cy’ejo hazaza kuko uba ubona ntacyo wasigariye. Ushobora kumva wanze ubuzima ndetse kubaho ntacyo bikumariye. Gusa abaganga, inshuti n’umuryango nibo ba mbere bazagufasha kwigaruramo icyizere no guhangana n’iryo hungabana. Nyamara mbere yuko ugendera ku byo bakubwira, ni wowe ubwawe ugomba kwifatira umwanzuro. Ni byiza ko umwanzuro ureba ubuzima bwawe ugira uruhare mu ifatwa ryawo.
Gerageza uganirize umuntu wizeye kandi uha agaciro ibyakubayeho. Ni byiza ko aba umuntu ushobora kugufasha kuko uko akumva anakuganiriza ni bumwe mu buryo buzagufasha kumva uruhutse. Ntakwiye kuba wa muntu uguca intege cyangwa ukwereka ko ibyawe byoroshye. Ntuzaganyire wa muntu uzahita akubwira ati: “nibe nawe, jyewe reka nkubwire ibyanjye”, “reka ndumva ibyo bidakanganye da”, n’ibindi kuko aho gutuma ukira ahubwo warushaho kuremba.
Rimwe na rimwe usanga uwahuye n’ihungabana nta muntu n’umwe aba afitiye icyizere. Ariko uko ugenda wubaka umubano n’abantu banyuranye bizarushaho kugufasha guhangana n’irungu bityo bigufashe kudaheranwa n’ihungabana. Shaka inshuti muzahuza kandi muzarambana, inshuti muzabana ubuzima bwose, mugasangira akabisi n’agahiye. Uko ugenda wongera ubusabane nabo niko bizagufasha kurushaho kumva ko utari wenyine kandi uryoherwe n’ubuzima buzaza. Ibi nibyo bizatuma utumva ko isi yarangiye cyangwa urumuri rwazimye.
Hejuru ya byose rero niba wowe ubwawe wagerageje bikanga ugakomeza guhura n’ikibazo cy’ihungabana, ni byiza gukurikiza inama ugirwa n’abajyanama bashinzwe gufasha abahuye n’ihungabana kandi baba barabihuguriwe byanyabyo.
